Welcome to the Republic of Ourkinzall
(pronounced Our Kinz All.)
The Great Republic of Ourkinzall gained statehood on June 14, 1835. Our state capitol is Landov, named after General Landov who fought and died for our country. We later found out the entire story was just that, a story that had been greatly embellished over time. By the time we found out his first name was General, and not his military rank, it was to late. Most people here still think he is equal to Daniel Boone.
Our only crop is cotton, meaning we are a proud bunch of cotton pickers!
Our state population is just over 350,000 and as we have seen almost no growth from people moving to Ourkinzall, most outsiders think we are all crazy inbreds. (True!)
To make matters worse, our current governor is an ex-prostitute. (At least we hope she is).
How did an old whore like Sara Zanders become the Governor of Ourkinzall you ask? Her best customer, Donnie T. Rump had put her name on the ballot as more of a joke than anything. She found she had a following from her customers, especially as her girls made sure to "encourage" them...
She found herself polling at a remarkable 15%. At fifty-three her 36 D's were real and still firm, her ass tight from her daily workout. Most importantly, her smile was genuine, she had charisma.
Sara Zander main rivals in the election were the outgoing governor's daughter, Sarah Chatfield, and the son of the attorney general, Richard McCain Jr. Both lacked any charisma. The only reason they were running is their parents were well known. Prior to running they had been friends, some thought they would wed. A match made in heaven. LOL...
Sara Chatfield was 5' 3”, chubby, with stringy brown hair and a small wart on her chin. While his dad stood 6'4", 240 pounds of mostly muscle, Richard was slim, 5' 7", about 130 pounds. Richard Sr. earned the nick-name "Big Dick" early in his political career for both his size and the fact he could really be a dick to his opponents. He even referred to his son as "Little Dick", thinking it was a joke.
Two weeks prior to the election the two were, as they put it, working together in a spirit of cooperation to help save the environment; they had decided to drive to a rally together. Somehow someone must have laced their beverages with GHB and Viagra because they had found themselves in an uncontrollable sexual frenzy while driving, resulting in an accident when the car somehow hit a tree.
The Governor's daughter's jaw had to be wired shut and her rival lost a few inches of his manhood.
Details of exactly what rally they were going to remains scarce.
At Sarah Chatfield's first campaign event after the accident someone threw a large pink dildo on the stage, well half a dildo with clear bite marks. Sarah broke down crying and ran off the stage
The same thing happened at Dick Jr's rally, with Dick Jr. sobbing uncontrollably, his hands covering his groin as he curled into a ball behind the podium.